Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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