Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
