Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
