im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
