yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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