Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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