singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
