defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
