420 ftw
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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