I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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