Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
