i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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