I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My vagina is officially offended.
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