i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
