Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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