he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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