White coat. Heels.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
