Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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