Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
