dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He felt like a one man threesome
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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