Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
