Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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