Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
