it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Randomize
