hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
