We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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