Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
