For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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