So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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