She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
