I hate your face
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
