reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
