Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
