Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
BRING THE BAGELS
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
