She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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