I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so let's talk penis.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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