In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need to calm my uterus...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
