and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
