It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
