We named our party play list daddy issues
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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