Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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