did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
