the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
