You're my little dorito
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
