i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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