Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
