you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize