It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
