Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
