The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
