I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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