Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
