I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize