I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
