just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
