he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize