Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
