haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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