You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
