I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
