Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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